The Santa Sutra

Just in time for Christmas, I have composed my own sutra in the same way as Gary Snyder's 'Smokey the Bear Sutra' (http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/bear.htm). I began and ended writing it with right intention and right mindfulness, and hopefully that has followed through to the text itself.

(In other news - Hi! I'm back! Yes, I know I can't update regularly to save my life...)

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Santa Sutra

Thus I have heard:

Once, long ago, the Supreme Buddha was travelling alone to all corners of the world, until his feet had touched every part of the surface of the Earth. He walked in the deserts, the valleys, the mountains and over the molten rocks. On every atom lay his footprint, and on every tiny grain of being lay his gaze. He started in the very south, and ended in the very north.

When his feet touched the most northern point and the last of the Earth's particles, The One That Has Come and the Earth herself formed a new Buddha nature between them. The newborn had the eternal heart of a child, and the long white beard of the wise. His form is as an old man, in red clothes bordered with the nurturing fur of the female Snow Lion.

In his left hand he holds the Sack of the Perfection of Generosity, which he uses to bring charity all who invoke his name; the charity of coal to teach non-attachment, and the charity of wrapped presents to those who seek the perfection of the holiday spirit.

His right hand remains open in the mudra to Dispel Fear, indicating that no-one should have to be afraid of the cold and fruitless winter months, of hunger and need. All hibernating creatures, all creatures who fly to the south, and all who brave the winter chill all have the right to live without fear.

And his name is SANTA CLAUS. Or, Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle and many more. His mount is the reindeer Rudolf who pulls his chariot across the skies and teaches understanding of the world by breaking the laws of physics.

He is followed by, and led by, the emanations of the Noble Eightfold Path. Dasher and Dancer of Right View and Right Intention. Prancer and Vixen of Right Speech and Right Action. Comet and Cupid of Right Livelihood and Right Effort. Donner and Blitzen of Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration. Together these thought forms are what drives him forward.

The Buddha, Perfect in Illumination and Conduct, saw this and was pleased. He put up a marker at the site at the end of the world, a giant pole in the north to show all that at the end of all paths is goodness and enlightenment.

Thus the great mantra of Santa is:

Ho ho ho Namas Puraana Pitraaya svargasya rathe gaganam gacchati

“Ho ho ho, Homage to the Ancient Father of Heaven, in his chariot he goes across the sky”

And he will give charity freely to all, and the gift of charity he will bestow on any who spend time with his mantra. He has no wrathful form, and all those who recite this sutra will gain merit as boundless as snowflakes.

All who recite this sutra, in its full or its sort form of “Ho ho ho”, will have safe eggnog, fruity puddings, and a pine tree to leave presents under.

And in the end will attain the perfection of wisdom and highest enlightenment.